Giveaway Winner!!

After taking out my post and taking account for those who put all their entries in one post, there were 41 entries for The Annotated Pride and Prejudice giveaway. I popped the numbers into Mr. Random, and the lucky number was 38.

Congratulations, Whitney! Please contact me with your address, and I'll get the book in the mail to you right away.

Thank you everyone for entering, and stay tuned for more giveaways as my book release approaches.

Sense and Sensibility Adaptations

I know I've been remarkably lax in the one reading challenge I entered this year. I confessed in January that Sense and Sensibility is not my favorite Austen book, but still, I felt I should re-read it before I started reading and watching various adaptations.

Well, the Sense and Sensibility group read at Indiejane.org just finished yesterday, so now I'm ready. We started our read by hosting a virtual movie night--the '95 movie--in our chat room, and then last week I finally watched the newer BBC production. I'm going to compare them today, knocking off two items for the challenge!

There are two major areas that affect the way an adaptation strikes the audience: casting and script. Both productions have pros and cons on both.

Casting:

I do not care for Hugh Grant in the role of Edward. Dan Stevens was far more suited to it, and I realized as I watched how much Grant's demeanor affected my opinion of the character--keeping in mind that the movie was my first introduction to the story and characters.

Until I watched Dan Stevens as Edward, I truly disliked the character. I could not forgive him for his behavior at Norland, for not leaving once he realized he was in love with Elinor. I couldn't understand how Elinor could accept it! Why wasn't she angry when she found out he'd been engaged the whole time? Looking back on the story, I think it was Grant's delivery of the apology which struck me wrong. Stevens was just pitch perfect in all those scenes, including... ah, but that is part of the script, is it not?

On the other side, for me, Alan Rickman is Colonel Brandon. I didn't dislike David Morrissey, but once you've seen a portrayal you love so much, it is hard to accept anyone else in the role. My favorite scene is at Cleveland when he begs Elinor to give him something to do to keep his mind off Marianne's illness. It strikes just the right note of barely restrained despair that I imagine him to feel.

Script:


Something odd happened here. Usually, I prefer the mini-series version of Austen novels, as there's simply too much to fit into a feature length film. However, despite the things that were cut or only hinted at in Thompson's script, I feel she did a better job, for one reason: she use a much larger percentage of Austen's dialogue.

Jane Austen wrote superior dialogue. It moves the plot along, it defines her characters, and it is charming and witty. Why write other lines that only attempt to say the same thing hers did? I was surprised to find this problem, because the 1995 Pride and Prejudice, also by Sir Andrew Davies, did an amazing job at sticking to the dialogue in the book.

I have to wonder if the shorter length played a part here. Sense and Sensibility is only half as long as Pride and Prejudice, and it's possible he felt there simply wasn't time to use Austen's dialogue. There were certainly some very choppy scene changes, such as when Mrs. Jennings announced they were all removing to Cleveland.

There were four places where I really appreciated the new script:

1. The beginning. Mildly salacious (which Davies seems to prefer), it goes a long way toward displaying Willougby's character. However, on further reflection part of the plot of the book is the whole mystery--is he a rogue or an honorable gentleman? Showing his seduction of Eliza in the first five minutes of the film is like reading the last chapter of a mystery first.
2. The duel. I loved actually seeing this. It's one of those little things you might not even be aware of if you skim over that chapter of the book, but Brandon does indeed call Willoughby out. However (again, a caveat!), I thought the way they filmed in and where they placed it made it seem like he was calling him out over Marianne, not Eliza. If one hadn't read the book before, they would certainly get that impression.
3. Edward's first apology. Though I don't believe for a minute that Elinor and Edward would have had a conversation that came that close to acknowledging what their relationship was while he was still engaged, I absolutely loved his question--"Why don't you think badly of me?" (Um... paraphrasing here!) That sincere admission of guilt and repentance did more to win me over to the character than anything else. 
4. Willougby's horrible excuse for an apology. Okay, Austen purists. I admit, this is one thing I really don't care for in the book. Why does he get to come back and explain away all his bad actions? Why does Elinor give him time to do so, and then accept at the very least, he always loved Marianne and will regret her? Why doesn't she just say, "Hey! You lost your chance because you were too selfish to do the honorable thing. Get out!"? These are things Nancy wants to know, and the abbreviated apology in the mini-series (which is completely omitted in the film) gave me some small bit of satisfaction.

All that being said, the film script wasn't perfect. As mentioned, it omits Willougby's apology altogether. There are times when dialogue moves from mouth to mouth, most notably when Marianne gives Elinor's quote about how Willougby might soon have learnt to rank the demands of his pocketbook above those of his heart. Since this quote is given by Elinor in answer to Marianne's doubt that Willoughby was truly selfish, it is really out of place in the film. 

Also, I don't think it's just Hugh Grant's delivery that makes Edward's explanation and apology at the end fall flat. It's just... off. Like, it doesn't sound like his voice. Also, it didn't sound really apologetic, more like... "Hey, I know things didn't go so well earlier, but now that I'm free, what do you think?" which really made me hate him.

Okay, I know this was long, but I thought it would be easier to do them both in one blog post. These are my second and third completed items for the Sense and Sensibility Bicentenary Challenge.

When Editing Makes Babies Cry

Sunday I got notes back from one of my critique partners. The inline notes were minimal, but in her email, she mentioned some pacing problems she'd seen--problems I knew existed, but that I hadn't been able to fix despite trying.

The story moved too quickly from Darcy thinking about Elizabeth's words at Hunsford to her being at Pemberley. There was some reflection, but not much that showed why he might have begun to change.  This had been plaguing me for weeks, and it was the source of my problems with balancing the front and back halves of the novel as well. (Front half was about 55-58% of the story, way more than the 50% it should be.) 

I turned to another crit partner who happened to be online and asked for her thoughts, and she pinpointed one chapter that could be expanded on to show his thought process. Here's the original: 

None of these tasks, however, were capable of driving Elizabeth from his mind. When he walked the estate with his steward, he remembered Georgiana commenting that he needed a wife who could walk with him, and he thought again of Elizabeth and the walks they had shared in Kent. When he visited a tenant and awkwardly held the baby he was handed, he thought how much more comfortable he would have been with Elizabeth by his side.

It's not bad, but there's not much detail. The question became, "How can I expand that into something that really shows him missing her and beginning to take her words to heart?" In the end, this is what I came up with (please be kind, this is quite rough):

Richard left the following morning for the Fitzwilliam family seat near Matlock, and Darcy, in desperate need of distraction, threw himself into the affairs of his own estate. In consequence of his lengthy absences over the last year, there were many things that have been left unattended to.

 Nothing, however, could drive Elizabeth from his mind. With every task he completed, he was conscious of how much easier or pleasanter it would have been with her by his side.

 When he walked the estate with his steward, he remembered Georgiana commenting that he needed a wife who could walk with him, and he thought again of Elizabeth and the walks they had shared in Kent. How he had looked forward then to showing her the grounds of Pemberley and his favorite walks through the park. Those spots he had loved all his life lacked luster, now that he saw them without Elizabeth.

 Not long after his return to Pemberley, one of his best tenants celebrated the birth of his first child. By rights, the mistress of the estate would visit the family—but Pemberley had no mistress.
 When Darcy appeared on the Coombs' doorstep, the man could not hide his surprise. "Mr. Darcy!"

 "Good day, Coombs. I hear your wife has provided you with a son."

 Coombs snapped his gaping mouth shut and swallowed. "Yes sir. That is… Well, yes sir. May I ask, sir, why you are here?"

 Darcy raised an eyebrow. "I should think that obvious, Coombs. I came to congratulate you."
 Coombs nodded slowly. "Of course, Mr. Darcy. Would you like to come in and see James?"

 Darcy took his hat off and followed Coombs into the cottage. Mrs. Coombs smiled up at him when he entered. "Mr. Darcy, this is such a surprise!"

 He knit his brows together for a moment. Why are they both so shocked to see me pay this form of courtesy? 

Before he could think any more on the question, a babe was thrust into his arms. "This is our James—isn't he the sweetest lad you ever did see?"   

Darcy held the child six inches out from his chest, and when James yawned and stretched, he panicked. Please do not wake. But young James had not yet learnt that the master of Pemberley was always to be obeyed, and the tiny eyes opened. On beholding an unfamiliar face, the mouth opened in a wail that would have scared years off the life of a grown man, had he not known where it originated.

 Mrs. Coombs bustled over and took her child back into the comfort of her arms. "There there, Jamesey—Mama's here. You aren't afraid of Mr. Darcy, are you?"

 Darcy watched in wonder as the child immediately quieted and settled back to sleep. Never had he been more aware of his own awkwardness, or longed more for Elizabeth's ease of manner.

 The incident did not quickly leave his thoughts. Late into the evening he pondered it, always coming back to one thing: his own tenants, who knew him to be a generous landlord, had been surprised when he also showed them courtesy.

 "Your manners impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance…" Was there truth in her words? Did he look down on those he saw as beneath him and not treat them with the same kindness he treated those of his own class?

 Darcy paced the length of his study, an empty brandy glass in his hand. How do my fellow landowners see me? Would they be likewise surprised to receive a note from me on the birth or marriage of one of their offspring? The answer came in an instant—they would not. Those common forms of politeness were de rigueur among the upper class.

 Am I then so caught up with social standing that I cannot offer simple congratulations to a family without it being a noteworthy event? Was Elizabeth right about me?

 Darcy had long acknowledged he had not the ease or openness of manner that many did, and of course he had pride in his family and his land, but he had never taken the time to consider how that was presented to others. In truth, he had never cared enough for the opinion of others to care what they thought of him, but now he wondered if it was more than how he appeared. Am I truly prideful?

 Over the next few weeks, he examined his interactions with all he met: staff, tenant, and landowner alike. What was his first response in all of these situations? Was it one of habitual pride? Did he consider himself so far above even his friends? Were Elizabeth's accusations true?

 Such self-examination is never a pleasant course of study, and therefore, Richard's return in late May was welcome for the diversion it offered. "Did you grow tired of your family so soon?" Darcy gibed when they were seated in the study.

 I had particular fun with the image of Darcy holding a squalling baby. Poor man... I do so love to torment him.

So class, what did we learn today?

1. Pay attention to your gut. I knew from the start that I needed more here, and I never did anything about it.
2. 2. Critique partners are worth their weight in gold.
3. Editing makes small children weep.

Until next time!

PS: Don't forget, my giveaway of The Annotated Pride and Prejudice is still running.

His Good Opinion can be purchased from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Amazon UK, Amazon DE, and Amazon FR. 

Enjoying the Ride

Fall is finally here. This is my absolute favorite time of the year: everything I love most is packed into the space of about four months, starting with October and the changing leaves.

However, last week Jessica did a blog post on countdowns, and I realized exactly how much I've got going on this fall.

• Finish my final edits for His Good Opinion and send it to an editor
• Assimilate those edits and send it to a proofer
• Assimilate the proofs and format the book for sale
• November is NaNoWriMo--I'll be writing my next novel, focusing on Colonel Fitzwilliam
• I'm one of Vancouver's Municipal Liaisons for NaNo, so I'm busy planning events right now.
• Launch my book

And that doesn't even take things like the holidays and my birthday (Feb. 2) into account. When Jess said Christmas was 100 days away, I did panic for just a minute. 

Then I realized something: These are all good things! I love being an ML, even with all the extra work that goes along with it. (This year, I'm also mentoring new MLs... another thing, but it'll be fun.) I can't imagine a November without NaNoWriMo, so even though it might be crazy to write one book while publishing my first, I'm going to do it anyway. And of course, all the various bits of the publishing process will be time-consuming, but HELLO! By the end of November, I will be able to hold my book in my hands! 

So I'm going to take the advice I gave Jess. "Pretend it's a ride at Disneyland. The ride operator has buckled you in, and you just have to sit back and enjoy." 

Are you hanging on to your hats, friends? 'Cause this here is the wildest ride in the wilderness.

Darcy In My Head and a Giveaway

When I decided to write His Good Opinion, I printed a copy of Pride and Prejudice out from Project Gutenberg and sat down with a pen to make notes. I listened to the book while reading, and when the DIMH spoke up, I jotted down his thoughts. In this way, I created a sort of map of what Darcy was thinking throughout the book, and that map became the back bone of my book.

(I actually turned it into a mind map, but apparently those scare people so I won't show you that. However, you can see it here if you wish.)

However, DIMH could only explain the things that were within my scope of experience. If I didn't know what a certain phrase referred to, my own subconscious couldn't make it clear to me. That's when I had to turn to outside sources, AKA reference material.

My final pass of His Good Opinion is being made with an annotated Pride and Prejudice. I want to know what experts have said about the novel, in particular its social situations.

Since this is where I am now, I'd like to give away a copy of The Annotated Pride and Prejudice. 

To enter, simply comment on this blog post.

You can also gain additional entries by: 

• Following me via Google Friend Connect
• Following me on Twitter
• Tweeting up to once a day about the giveaway with this tweet: Want to know more about Darcy and Elizabeth? Enter to win The Annotated Pride & Prejudice from @Nancy_Kelley: http://ow.ly/6vchp 

Please add an additional comment for each entry. This giveaway is open to US/Canadian entries only, and runs through the 9/28/2011. I will then use a random number generator to select a winner, who will be announced on 9/29/2011.

Good luck!

Great Expectations

The first weekend of August, I went to the Oregon coast with my family. When we went to the beach that Saturday morning, it was grey and misty--typical for the Pacific Northwest. Since we're all born with webbing between our toes, we didn't let the damp get to us. Rain or no, the ocean was amazing as always.

As it happened, the skies parted that afternoon and we had a sunny drive down the coast to another small tourist town. We stopped along the way to enjoy the beautiful day, because we know they don't come along very often.

Later, while in a tourist shop, I entered a conversation between the clerk and some tourists. They wanted to know where a certain restaurant was, and she happened to give the wrong answer.

"Actually, that's in Newport on the historic bay front," I corrected.

"We were in Newport earlier and we didn't see it. But then, it was so busy we didn't really stop to look around."

"I'm not surprised, on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon like this."

The wife then looked at me in shock. "Really? It's a little windy, isn't it?"

"I suppose, but look at the sun! At least it's not cloudy or raining."

Her jaw literally dropped then, I kid you not. "Is it usually like that here?"

After holding in my laughter and reassuring her that yes, it does usually rain on the Oregon coast, I started thinking about expectations. The weather disappointed her because she expected sunshine, no wind, and (presumably) slightly warmer temperatures. Meanwhile, 70 and sun thrilled me enough that I'd have put up with gale force winds.

When we write, do we let our expectations get in the way of the joy we can take in the process? We expect our book to automatically be as good as one that's been edited and revised multiple times. We expect to have the same mastery of craft as someone who's been writing for years.

Let's take a step back. Are we writing? Is our story coming together in a way that at least bears a slight resemblance to our original idea? During the rough draft, that's all we can expect.

I am not for a moment saying you should settle for that in your end product. Writing, and even self-publishing, is not about slapping a cover on a shoddily written and edited manuscript and calling it a book. However, writing is a process, and you can't expect the product at the end of stage one to look like it will at the end of stage fifty. Manage your expectations, and you'll be able to enjoy each part of the writing process.

What I Blogged On My Summer Vacation

I learned something about blogging this summer, friends: The entire blogosphere goes on vacation for two months. Comments slow to a trickle, new posts are few and far between, and site traffic goes way down. On the one hand, this made it easy to keep up with everything. After all, I didn't go on vacation (sigh), so I didn't miss a thing. On the other hand, I know there are a lot of good posts out there that people might have missed.

I'm going to highlight a few of mine, and then if you wrote an awesome blog post that got lost in the summer shuffle, please post a link to it in the comment thread.

The big news of the summer was the launch of Indiejane.org. Jessica Melendez and I started this site with the vision of it becoming a home for both readers and indie authors of Jane Austen fiction. As of tomorrow, we've been up and running for two months, and things are off to a great start. We're just wrapping up our read-a-long of Sense and Sensibility, and we have a Northanger Abbey event slated for the last two weeks of October.

Indie Jane also took part in this summer's Austenesque Extravaganza, a blog event put on by Meredith of Austenesque Reviews. In our post, we announced a new project, yet again aimed at connecting authors and readers. Dear Jane will link Jane Austen fans with a pen pal for six months. Sign ups go through September 15, so if you're interested, go on over!

And finally, in my posts for the Austenesque Extravaganza, I put together a blog series called Build Your Own Austenesque Novel. I led readers through the various elements of story and plot, and ended with an encouragement to participate in National Novel Writing Month. I've since brought those five blog posts together on their own page, Build Your Own Novel.

Now it's time for the rest of the class to share. Show us your favorite blog posts of the summer!